pump & work

In five years, I might look back on this aspect of being a nursing mom with raizbliuto. Don't get me wrong, nursing has been one of the best new mom experiences (once the challenges of those early weeks were behind us!). Snuggling with Henry, talking to him, and just being fully present in the moment with the little guy is an amazing experience. I savor those connections as they slowly dwindle away. These moments will be mourned hard.

Pumping though not so much. I am ready to be liberated from this torturous device. Yes, I am thankful. I am thankful that these modern tools exist to help working moms maintain their nursing supply. I am thankful that I was able to nurse Henry through my goal of one year  and I must give this darn Medela "Pump and Go in Style" a pat on the back for being a team player. But we have seven weeks left and then I am hanging this bag up or perhaps smashing it in the driveway! Seven more weeks of feeling isolated, alone, and inconvenient. Since September, I have missed out on making connections with my colleagues because I am connected to the Mother's Room. Instead of lunch in the cafeteria, I have lunched too often in this room on the floor between frantic meetings and extra help sessions. I have had to use bathrooms, classrooms, bus stops, and first aid offices at museums and amusement parks in order to balance this awkward work-life dilemma. Too many coworkers became privy to this existence as they questioned why I spent so much time in the nurse's office and if there was a medical issue I was facing this year. Too many coworkers asked why they never saw me anymore. It was a hard year.

A whirlwind of a year on so many levels, I am left trying to compartmentalize this turbulent and jubilant time. But, the one thing that remains constant is my excitement for June 5 and the big, fat sayonara I will bid to you, Medela...until baby #2.