sleep deprivation: it's real
Really, I just wish I had enough energy to observe our situation more. With Henry, we have discovered that if we observe him and really watch his cues, we are usually able to "crack" the code. Unfortunately, I am just SO tired. It wasn't so bad after the first week of sleep deprivation but now heading into our third week of inconsistent sleep, I feel it in my bones. My mind is in a perpetual cloud. Things hurt that I never knew could hurt so badly, like my lumbar, my neck, and eyelids. Yes, my eyelids actually hurt, probably because those eyelid muscles are working so hard to keep my eyes open, right? In the middle of the night when Henry cries, my initial thought is, "Whose baby is crying?" Then once the sleep fogs lifts a bit I realize where I am. But, it is always so funny to me that I forget in my delirious sleep state.
It is amazing how many "second winds" you get in a single day. Just when I think I cannot stop myself from falling head over heels to the ground for a snooze wherever it is I am standing in that moment, then a surge of wild energy hits. Clearly, it is this wild energy that has sustained parents throughout generations of sleepless babies. But you have to be careful about this energy. It fades as quickly as it arrives and while it fades you may find that your mind, thoughts, and speech, which seem sharp one minute, turn to mush the next. Sitting with my advisees, I ask, "Who attended the leadershit conference this year?" Laughing their heads off, they ask, "What!??" and I reply, "What?" Yup, I had no idea that my mouth had forsaken me and in trying to retrieve the correct vocabulary misfired swapping a "t" for a "p". There I was thinking I was asking a clear question and starting up a nice dialogue when in fact my body was shutting down and there was nothing I could do to stop it!
Even David is walking around in a zombie-like trance. One minute he is awake on the couch cuddling Henry and the next he too is resting his eyes. So what do we do? Seriously, what do we do? Yes, this phase will pass and as my friend noted: David and I will get accustomed to living and operating "light and lean." But, I wonder if the issue stems from Henry's swaddle a.k.a. his sleep crutch. He might be in limbo right now. He seems to still want to be swaddled in order to fall asleep but he also is fighting against the swaddle. His startle reflex is still very apparent though and leaving his arms out free wakes him. I think we need to wean Henry from his swaddle and get him to a place where he can fall asleep without his baby straight jacket. And.....we need to practice this whole, "lay baby down while sleepy and not asleep" so that he learns how to put himself to sleep and isn't also dependent on swinging and swaying. So fellow parents, can you have mercy on the weary and share your sleep tips or advice?