the problem of two due dates
This week has been a bit tough. Yes, I know the old saying, "First babies are late" but still I really did not believe that that would be my reality. I had this gut feeling that despite the odds, I would right now be either sitting in the hospital or at home and I would be a mom. No such luck though. The baby is still tightly swaddled up in the bump with no signs of leaving the nest. So now at 40 weeks going on 41 weeks, I am an emotional roller coaster. Weepy, sleepy, restless, angry, delusional, and anxious are just a few of the primary emotions I sweep through during a day. The main problem though is that I had two due dates. According to my first midwife appointment the baby would be born on June 27. Then there was the first ultrasound which re-dated the baby for June 25. This two day difference doesn't seem like a lot for the non-pregnant. Yet, it has quite large consequences at this time of the pregnancy. I really hoped that June 25 was our day. It came and went without any exciting movements. Instead I am now three days late from that date. Then again, perhaps the due date was June 27 then I am only one day late. With the July 4 holiday approaching selecting June 27 as "THE" due date is problematic as it puts us with a July 7 induction day. If the baby was in fact due on June 25 then our induction could be next week. See the problem? I could be waiting only a few more days or another 9 days for this baby boy to join us. That is quite a difference!! Yes, my priority is for both baby and I to have a healthy outcome but the great baby wait 2014 is slowly but surely eating away at me. Most of the day I can ignore the heartache but it flares up and in those moments it is hard. I try to stay busy with at least one outing a day but am running out of places nearby to explore (in case my water breaks...although this precaution makes me laugh as nothing is happening). Everyone around me has been super sensitive and loving and supportive and for this I am incredibly appreciative. Obviously this baby will be joining us soon, it's just a complex emotional time. Keep sending those good vibes this way, they help more than you know!